hidayah mazelan
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coffee : update
September 29, 2016

Lately, days have been hard.

Maybe that's why I haven't written any post for over a year ago. Seeing my old posts, I am very embarrassed. Was it really me? I was so foolish, childish--immature.

It's been over a year and I wonder what will I be like a year from now on, would I feel the current me still foolish? I had that kind of thoughts a lot that every time I wanted to update, I would be thinking twice and ended up not to.

Fanfictions are something I didn't participate in writing for a long time too. Just mere random paragraphs were all I wrote over the year. It seems like my writing skill has flop and drop down in the pit of darkness.

School was great for the first eight months of the year. Who would have thought our school had the loving principal? No one apparently. He didn't pressure SPM candidates a lot, merely wishing us to do our best. He didn't even complain when most of the students' marks flop down, continuing to motivate us more.

But after that, it's getting a little bit harder that previous I guess. 9As seems to not be enough anymore. Everything, everyone is stepping on its tips of toes. Getting pressured, feeling depressed over time, I am super sure it's not going to help me achieve more than I did in trial.

It is even worse when people don't see my effort. As if I was not trying hard enough. Saying that I am a smart student, achieving that much while playing around, their eyes told me that I should've done better. I hate seeing people's eyes.

Genius is 1% talent and 99% perspiration.

Alis volat propriis. I will keep persevering,


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